Getting to know me, Black Kitty

Things I like:
Pig (even though I don't get it because my peoples say it's bad for my healtt.)
Chicken
Turkey
Whiskas Pouches SERVED ON TIME! Put it in my moutt!
Boxes, especially the ones Beatrice is in
Petting
Mothering the other kitties and my peoples
My tuffet
Sleeping
Looking out windows
Bossing my peoples and the other kitties around
Demeownding windowsill time
Making an entrance
Being under the bed
Boys
Whining
Treats
Grunting
Any toy on a string
The laser pointer
Knocking things over either with my sheer girth or out of defiance
Rooting (such as under blankets or in pants legs)
My manky on the couch
Sleeping on the couch like peoples
Plundering in the closet
Kneading my peoples
Smeowing new things
Smeowing other kitty butts

Things I don't like:
When my pouch is late
When I don't get people food
When I get caught being mean to the other kitties when they have something I want even if I just want it because they have it
Having to wait for something called "feeding time" when I know when I want my pouch
Doggies
Sharing
Oranges
Waiting
The doorbell
That big loud purple thing that gets my fur off the floor
Having my picture took
When the water thing makes noise